Lina's got a new button!

We have a new blog button for our FSP- about time, right? :)  Since my blog is copyright protected, I'm going to provide the code below for you to copy and paste into your blog if you wish to spread the word:

<center><a href="http://reecesrainbow.org/21136/sponsorlivingston" target="_blank"><img width="100%" src="http://i1215.photobucket.com/albums/cc502/ReecesRainbow/linaFSP.png" /></a><br/>Grab This!<br/><br />Be sure to right click on the box below and then select all.<br/><br /><textarea rows="2" cols="14"><center><a href="http://reecesrainbow.org/21136/sponsorlivingston"><img width="100%" src="http://i1215.photobucket.com/albums/cc502/ReecesRainbow/linaFSP.png" /></a><br /><a href="http://gracefulbutterflywings.blogspot.com/">Grab This!</a><br /></center></textarea></center><br/>

And a little update: we were told by our agency we should be receiving the information we need to apply for our business visas- TOMORROW!!  She sent me a checklist so we can be at the ready to complete the application the moment we get the info by email hopefully in the morning, print out the applications to put along with the money orders I purchased today, our passports, and extra passport photos to be FedEx'ed out overnight that same day.  Nothing like time sensitive travel materials to get the adrenaline flowing! :)

Still no word on documents we need to update for court- I have visions of running around like a chicken with it's head cut off... the day before we fly out.  Keep praying please- we're coming, babygirl!!!

Getting down to the wire- prayers please!

So while we are not up to sharing our exact travel dates, they are approaching very quickly.  But we have an issue.  We are still waiting to receive our formal invitation from Lina's country so we can get our business travel visas.  We need business visas this time so we may enter her country twice- first for court and second for our trip to bring her home.  Can't apply to get them until we receive this special invitation.  Silly me was so relaxed when we received our court date several weeks ago, knowing we would have plenty time to get everything in order.  We have to mail our actual passports to an agency who handles our visa paperwork; they will pick up our passports complete with visas when they are ready and overnight them back to us.  This agency we were referred to use is on the other side of the country.  And the longer we wait, the more expensive it costs for processing as well as the expedited mail delivery charges. Ugh.

We also are still waiting to hear from Lina's region about what paperwork we need to update for court.  Typically, court documents are only valid for 3 months, and all our documents were submitted in November.  Three months ago.  I asked our agency if we could get a head start and begin preparing new documents, ones that are typically requested to be updated.... the answer was no.  They will want documents to be dated AFTER the request was made for new ones.

So we sit here twiddling our thumbs and praying for news.  Praying we can get the ball moving so we will be prepared to head out very soon.  We are already stressing about the court proceedings and medical exams, now we get to worry about getting crucial documents and visas on time.  Please pray with us that we will hear something this week, preferably EARLY this week!  Thank you! xoxo

But you CHOSE this!

I just finished reading an amazing blog post with this title and HAD to come share it with you all- you can find that post HERE.  I knew exactly what the author was talking about, having shared many of these feelings myself.

Yes, we got some funny looks when we told people we were in the process of adopting a little girl.  From Eastern Europe.  Who has Down syndrome.  With each added statement, people's reactions sometimes got more and more contorted if you will.  I'm sure some of those reactions have to do with the fact that a) we already have three biological children, and b) one of those children has *special needs*.  And I will try not to stay up on my soap box too terribly long, but really, raising a child with Down syndrome is pretty much the same as raising any other child.  He has a few visitors a month to provide guidance and therapy tips.  He has a few extra check ups a year with a couple specialists- big deal!  My other two had more sick visits their first couple years than Evan has had with all his appointments combined.  He's our son and we love him.  We wouldn't have him any other way. *stepping off soap box*

So while some may have a difficult time embracing all this adoption stuff, they may not always be receptive to hearing the stresses of this process.  And no, I haven't shared many stresses here since I often feel like adoption blogs are looked at through a BIG magnifying glass.... you never know who's reading and what conclusions they will make.  I have already vented about one of my friendships and what a strain this adoption has put on it, so I won't go into that all over again.  But I will just say that yes, it is extremely difficult sharing our stresses and bumps along the way.  That constant fear of hearing, "I told you so"... or "Didn't you know what you were getting into?" Not helpful.  Yes, we knew what we were getting into.  Yes, we knew it would be stressful.  Yes, I'm fairly certain when this is all over we would agree that we would do it all over again.  In a heartbeat.

Honestly, I didn't have a clue what all was involved in an international adoption before we started the process.  Silly me- I used to think it was about signing a huge stack of documents, similar to buying a house, getting a homestudy, and then the formality of breezing through court.  HA!!  Of course this was before I started following adoption blogs and networking with other adoptive parents to learn the true process- well before we committed to Lina.  Yes, we entered this adoption process with our eyes wide open, having read about other families' and their extreme challenges in bringing their children home.  We also put our faith in God, knowing he would guide us.  And. He. Has.

The adoption process is often called a "paper pregnancy", and after going through three pregnancies myself, I see SO many parallels.  This paper chasing is equivalent to a VERY high risk pregnancy.  You are on edge, not knowing what the next week will bring.... worrying about the safety of your child and if they will make it home safe in your arms.  There are NO guarantees.  You never know what policies will be changed or how politics will stir things around.

Our visits in country are like ultrasounds- we get a brief glimpse of our child living on the other side of the world... reassurance that yes she is alive and doing ok, and go home with a few snapshots to cling to until the next visit.  Only during a high risk pregnancy you have lots more ultrasounds and doctor's visits to confirm everything is ok.  We go months and months through an adoption process clinging to faith and hope alone.

We have to seek out a specialist here and there- a CPA to approve our financial documents we poured over to disclose income, expenses, insurance policies, assets, and liabilities.... our physicians to complete letters of approval for us as well as our children.  Many more documents, and several rounds of fingerprinting- could we compare all this to a stress test perhaps? :)

There is nesting- I went through this phase about a month ago- cleaning EVERYTHING out and collecting things for Lina, making sure we are absolutely ready for her to enter our home.  I don't think I went through this much nesting for any of my other kids! :)  And cravings.... oh yes, the cravings.  I've been clinging to sweets lately to get me through.  Too scared to step on the scale- so thankful there aren't as many weight checks with a paper pregnancy!

But alas, we don't get to hold onto too much modesty to get through this adoption. Once we arrive in country in a few weeks for our court trip we will go through several hours of medical exams performed by 8 different specialists.  We will be bringing chest x-rays with us along with blood results from testing we had done by our own doctors, and we will have more blood drawn during these exams in country.  I'm betting there will be a weight check in there somewhere! ;)

Instead of doctor's co-pays and hospital bills- we get bills from the adoption agency, not covered by any type of insurance.  I have never written so many checks for so much money in my entire life.  Credit card bills make me cringe these days as well with costs of international airfare and hotel stays.

But we chose this.  Absolutely we chose this.  We may not be able to save the world, but we can make a difference in the life of one child while advocating for many others.  Hopefully people will start to think hmmmm if they can do it, why can't we?  

Handy Dandy Tool

With all the news flying around about rumors in the adoption world, I wanted to share this wonderful website I just learned about myself- from the US Department of State themselves regarding adoption alerts:

http://adoption.state.gov/country_information/alerts_notices.php

Concerned about adoptions in a particular country? Under Adoption Alerts simply select that country in the "Refine by Country" bar.  While the news media is in a frenzy regarding adoptions in Lina's country, we are assured by staff within the country that there isn't any truth behind it and it is a region to region decision.  There have been threats every year for the past several years but nothing has ever come of it.  There have been a few issues here and there within a specific region and they have been resolved in a relatively quick manner.  And after doing a search on the Department of State's website, I was reassured that there have yet to be any concerns posted.  We greatly appreciate any continued prayers as we head to court very soon! :)

Prayer Request

There has been MUCH buzz in the last 24 hours or so regarding some rumors flying around the adoption world and specifically Lina's country.  While I can't go into detail, these rumors have come and gone several times before but sound legitimate this go around.  We're not getting worried until we hear something from our agency, but do please pray that all continues smoothly in our adoption process as well as the many others adopting from the same country.  Thank you so much!

Happy Birthday, Mike!!

Today was Mike's birthday, and Kaylin's is tomorrow!!  You can look for her birthday post on our family blog tomorrow. :)

Sharing part of Mike's birthday present with you- I made this and framed it for him to take to work for some inspiration.  She's definitely worth all the hard work and he certainly agrees.  She has him wrapped around her little finger already. :)

Happy Birthday, Daddy!!

Adoption: the true test of friendship

You'll have to bear with me, my heart has been feeling heavy lately, and I haven't been sure how to handle it.  Going through this adoption process has been a whirlwind of emotions- the highs of meeting your precious child across the ocean for the very first time, and the stresses of paperwork, red tape, and all sorts of hoops to jump through to get there.  More hoops and paperwork, blood(tests) sweat and tears to get back for court.  Who do you go to when you need to share these highs and lows? Your close friends and family of course.  People who have been there for you throughout your life- celebrating triumphs with you, lending a shoulder when you need one to fall back on, and simply lending an ear and showing any signs of support.

This entire adoption process has been a huge eye opener regarding those who are supportive of us in our decision to bring Lina home, and others who aren't quite on the same page.  It has been completely heartwarming to see friends you haven't kept the closest contact with- come out of the woodwork and express how thrilled they are and offering any support they can possibly give.  Our church family has embraced us as well, always showing lots of excitement and asking us how things are going and where we are in the process.  I have a tight-knit group of friends I met online through a parenting site who have all remained very close through the help of Facebook, and we have been there to lift each other up in good times and in troubling times- and they have been amazingly supportive throughout all of this as well.

Yes, many family members and friends thought we were nuts when we first mentioned our adoption plans, but they too have been wonderful.  Some may still be a bit unsure about everything, but they still ask us how things are going, and ask lots of other questions along the way- how we will handle different circumstances etc. and I absolutely LOVE when people ask us questions!! It shows they CARE.  They may still think we're nuts sometimes, heck aren't we all a little nuts in our own special ways? ;) But they love us nonetheless, and will support us in our decision.

Then there is the close friend you've relied on since grade school.  You've been through everything together- call each other on a semi-regular basis, text here and there, call when there's anything big going on.... lean on each other in troubling times, lift each other up when needed, and celebrate for each other's accomplishments.  But suddenly, that's all changed with those simple words, "we're adopting."

Suddenly everything has changed. She says she will support us in our decision, yet her actions send the completely opposite message.  She NEVER asks about the dreaded *A* word.  When I bring it up in conversation- she says NOTHING.  We move on to the next subject.  Awkward.  I won't go into details, even though I'm fairly certain she doesn't read my blog, and she's not on Facebook; otherwise she would know where our hearts are and why we are doing this... but it hurts.  It hurts a LOT.  I don't know whether to confront her about it or to just let it go and wait until we bring Lina home so she can see for herself what a blessing she is to our family and that her life is worth saving.  Maybe some parents who don't have a child with special needs don't fully understand?? Hoping my readers here can help me out.  Help me understand what could be going through her mind.

And just a small piece of advice for anyone who has a friend or family member in the adoption process: ASK.  Ask them anything.  Show any little bit of interest or support.  You don't have to fully agree or approve of what they are doing, but don't try to ignore it like it doesn't exist.  Any little question will send the message that you really do care about them and this HUGE event in their lives.  This IS big! It's the biggest thing in their life right now and it hurts SO much if it's ignored.  I have made so many wonderful friends throughout this adoption process, and many existing friendships have grown stronger because of it.  But for one friendship thought to be one of the best... I have no words for the pain.